hi we back at it, ive been busy .-.
i havent had much ive been wanting to talk about (≖_≖') i went to the doctors and he kinda threw me off course with my thinking but im thinking again, its weird being told it wasnt my fault for feeling weird. the medication i am taking helps with one side of my brain but hurts another. now i am aware and alive!!!!!!!! his questions were weird, he asked me what other OCD symptoms i have, LIKE ID KNOW ( T _ T ) ??? all this stuff is normal to me because it happens on the regular its hard to tell
egirls
i posted a video of me last night with a caption bout canthinky, a famous far right egirl, and my comments think im cooler than her (⸝⸝⩌⸝⸝⩌⸝⸝) im very greatful Maybe i can be popular online and myself. i stillthink canthinky is really cool outside of the far-right stuff, her eras are really cool and i remember seeing her for the first time in this video reuploaded by me. i wouldnt say she is my main inspiration tho, im inspired by alot of people but i would never ever steal their whole thing like people often do on the internet, i admire them in the way they act or their specific hobbies, they are comfortably their own people and they understand who they are and what they like. i think what lures me to them is that they do not fit into any of my generalised social catagories, its cool, we need more of that in the world
but i would like to make a few honourable mentions though like technotrailblazer777 okay im overwhelmed nevermind i cant list anyone else, although i do wanna mention my friends tsu misty and nikto (ꈍᴗꈍ)♡
other perspectives
ever since the doctor ive been REALLY thinking about what i look like from an outside perspective. i have a few weird habits that have been brought to my attention from hanging out with new people. i recognise people from smell, body language, touch or voice (voice is normal) before visual which is a little weird because a few times people have come up to me from behind and ive recognised them "hey -----" and they shit their pants, id be a good daredevil. so id recognise someone by the way they physically get my attention, like a tap on the shoulder, the way that they do it tells me who they are; some people leave their hand on my shoulder until i turn around, some people just tap me, also the placement of the contact, top of the shoulder side of my arm etc etc. i play alot alot of games too, leave little hints around until they notice, hide things in their bag while we are walking and pretend to be oblivious when they ask who did it Then give it away a while later, like i was slipping lollipops into a girls bag then brang lollipops last friday. everyone loves it, its like playing a constant game. sometimes i dont even tell them in the end, id been on bad terms with a friend and i snuck a chocolate coin in his hoodie (he still doesnt know it was me). i bring alot of lollies to school or just random things, like i said in a previous blog i gave my friend mutilated crayons for her birthday, it wasnt planned i just had them in my bag LOL. ive dont make any noise whatsoever so i frighten people, 'appear outta nowhere' ( ͡º ꒳ ͡º) which is apart of another thing, eaves dropping, unintentional but so funny. i know (almost) all the drama in my grade. on friday i was focusing on throwing a bit of trash in the bin from the table in private study while listening to the conversation, getting up and grabbing it when i missed then sitting back down and aiming, i later mentioned the conversation they were having and they went "wuuuut?? you were listening??" Yes i was, multitasking, but i dunno if its a good thing the 3rd tier girls dont like it at all, they have to be cautious when speaking and it makes me sad they are so distrusting of me. im gonna think of more right after i post this. empathy is weird aswell apparently, no one has any emotional awareness regarding each other, i am a advice god irl Body language tells you alot about a person Just small observations.. im helping a friend with her girl crush problems, it hadnt occured to her that a self proclaimed mature person wouldnt argue for so long about something they dont 'care for' plus more but she wouldnt want me to talk about it
im trying not to sound egotistical pointing out all the things though but its just things i do, they are normal to me, ive always got something in my bag whether its lollies, bouncy ball, random stuff like crayons etc etc
celebrity crush list again
- seth cohen
- young kyle gallner (but then i need to say evan peters aswell cause they got the same vibe but every girl in my grade thinks evan peters is cute so it doesnt count.)
kin list again
- sam winchester
- will graham
- benjamin poindexter
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