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wuts up
hi i havent got much to talk about, a girl has been trying to convince me im a sociopath and im losing my marbles!! school is consuming, my out of school time is for watching shows, studying and listening to music. but ive still been thinking alot. School drama T_T
Ive become good friends with another girl in the past few months but she kinda acts like im a puzzle she can put back together, i guess thats my fault for being funny to her though but I shouldnt have become friends with her in the first place, i know it. I feel like i messed up my life trajectory and shes the result of it, If you understand what im sayin?? I became friends with her because we had the same private study period and a mutual friend had us sitting together on thursdays and then it just stuck. i was playing around with her because im not meant to be in this position, Now im stuck but its okay. ive already had a huge impact on her, she is very open about being envious of me, i sit with her table and whatever tension i could feel when i first sat there has lessened, shes more confident and i teach her my little social tricks. But i feel bad, i dont really care for her presence because we werent meant to cross paths. Everyone i know has come from a meaningful interaction, theyve entered my life with a purpose but she doesnt have one. Shes fun to be around but it feels wrong, i cant help but feel like im corrupting her for whatever reason.. Ive helped her!! Shes happier than before.
i literally just dont care about her and its scary, ive never felt that way about someone before (in these circumstances). its not like i hate her or anything its just how we became friends, when i met her she fit so well into a stereotype that i played a part i knew she would like to see what would happen and she acted exactly how i predicted. But i felt so much guilt that i broke that character and she was sad for a whole week. that makes me sound terrible but theres a huge emotional gap between my grade and i, my solution was (AND IS) to talk as least as i possibly can and it works but my gosh i cant avoid her now. Or any of the other people i have now started talking to. Im a terrible evil person and i dont blame that girl for thinking im a sociopath
FIN
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